WHY WON’T MY DOG LISTEN?! 4 Reasons Your Dog Ignores You
“He knows he’s not supposed to be on the couch.” “She knows the word ‘come,’ but when she’s in the backyard, she won’t listen.” I hear statements like this from people every day. Many dog owners go to puppy class or hire a trainer when they first bring their dog home and then a few months or a year down the road, they start noticing some delayed responses (or flat out being ignored) from their dogs. If this sounds familiar, here are a few things to consider before assuming your dog is just being stubborn.
The information hasn’t generalized.
Dogs don’t retain information in the same way humans do. When you teach your dog to sit in puppy class or at home in the kitchen, your dog only understands that word in that specific context. It takes lots and lots of repetition for dogs to understand that “sit” means “sit” no matter what else is happening around them. Especially when you start to add in distractions, be patient with your dog and make things easier by bringing yummy treats and rewarding your dog frequently.
You stopped rewarding the behavior.
Despite what many people think, dogs don’t do things we ask them to do because they love us, they’re naturally obedient or because they know what we expect of them. Dogs are decision making animals, just like humans and they do things that are rewarding in some way.
That doesn’t mean you have to give your dog a treat every single time they sit down for their whole life, but if you wake up one day and decide that “sit” no longer deserves any kind of positive feedback (treat, praise, play, pets, etc) they’re not going to continue to offer the behavior. Similarly, if when your dog is in the backyard the words “come here” are always followed by no longer getting to be outside (a very rewarding and fun place to be) your dog will figure that out and stop coming to you pretty quickly. To maintain behaviors your dog knows how to do, reward them randomly and vary the size of the reward; sometimes the reward is small like a verbal “good boy/girl” and sometimes it’s something big like 3 bites of string cheese.
They’re a teenager.
Canine adolescence lasts from about 6 months of age to about 2 years, depending on the breed and individual dog. There are a lot of similarities between human and canine adolescence. If you’ve been around teenagers lately, you might recognize some of these things:
Poor impulse control. Barking at the Amazon delivery person suddenly?
An increase in risk taking behaviors. Anyone climbing onto things in the yard they didn’t even notice before?
An increase in seeking independence. Or in other words, ignoring the heck out of you.
If you have an adolescent dog on your hands, don’t worry, you will make it to the other side. Regular training and exercise will help. And lots of patience. Practice asking your dog for basic behaviors like “sit” and “come” when there are some distractions, but maybe not in the middle of the park.
They’re too stressed.
Trainers call this “being over threshold” which refers to when a dog can no longer tolerate the discomfort of the stressors around them. For example, a dog who is normally a little bit afraid of new people is likely to go over threshold if we put him in a room with 3 new people who all want to pet him. Sometimes dogs over threshold go into “fight/flight/freeze” responses like trying to escape or barking and lunging. Frequently though, our dogs are sending us much more subtle signs that they’re uncomfortable before it gets to that point. If your dog is new to your home, is a puppy or is naturally cautious, “not listening” can be a sign that your dog is actually super stressed. If your dog listens enthusiastically inside and then seems to lose their mind outside or when there’s another dog nearby, they’re probably over threshold. When this happens, do your best to lower the intensity of whatever is happening around you. Part of getting your dog to listen to you is making sure they feel safe enough to pay attention and take treats.
So the next time you start to write your dog’s behavior off as being “stubborn” think about what your dog is getting out of the situation. Dog training is just as much about learning your dog’s needs and wants as it is getting them to do what we want and need from them.
Oh, and just in case you need to hear it, it’s okay to go home or stop the training session if you or your dog is having a bad day. It’s better for everyone if walks, outings and training sessions end on a good note.